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Don't Just Say Hello

36 pointsby 1h agonohello.net
24 comments
33m agoHN ↗

Yeah but you really could just guess and be right most of the time, since the question was likely "A/S/L?" ;)

33m agoHN ↗

A read this advice a while ago, and now it hurts me every time someone goes "Hi (name)" and then you just sit there looking at the 3 dots indicating they're writing something.

Or worse,

"Hi (name)"

"How are you, all good?"

"A question"

"Do you know anything about (system)?"

"I have this problem..."

Just have a bitnof respect for my time and attention and write your damn message already.

18m agoHN ↗

That's not really the same thing though. They do have a bit of respect for your time and attention, they are writing your damn message already, and you know that because of the dots. The people who prompted this website are leaving the conversation trapped in purgatory until you respond.

31m agoHN ↗

If the other party is away, and you leave before they come back, they can still answer your question, instead of just staring at a "Hello" and wondering what they missed.

Well, you can also just send a second message if your first one doesn't get a quick response:

Hey quick question

Just wondering when project X is due

Would this be slightly better as one message? Maybe in some situations. But some people would find it to be self-centered to jump right into "what can you do for me?".

25m agoHN ↗

About multiple messages: this can cause multiple notifications, which can be annoying or cause a sense of urgency.

About self centered: would you find it self-centered, or would you instead appreciate seeing the complete message?

15m agoHN ↗

Appreciate the point about multiple notifications. I fine-tune mine so that when I'm away I don't get notifications by default. Regarding self-centeredness, reasonable minds can differ on this. Some people prefer a bit of chit-chat before getting down to brass tacks. Others want to get in and get out as quickly as possible. My point was that this is not one-size-fits-all advice.

30m agoHN ↗

this used to bug me a lot more than it does now, perhaps because it doesn't really happen to me very often anymore. when it does, i just type "hi" back and then move on with my day.

28m agoHN ↗

Funny! Not sure if it's a cultural thing, but I experienced this phenomenon with Indian and Portuguese guys, and while I'm sure they're just trying to be polite, it's annoying as hell. Just ask the damn question!

9m agoHN ↗

I've gotten "Hi" with zero other context from people of all backgrounds.

27m agoHN ↗

might wanna make that year reference in the text dynamic

22m agoHN ↗

I would consider the approach in this posting to be rude. I feel like they are shoving a bunch of information at me without context. Part of the purpose of the salutation is to allow the call receiver to orient themselves. “Who is calling?” “How urgent is this?” “Do I have time to talk now?”

18m agoHN ↗

This is about chats, not calls though - you can look at the context and make the same determination.

Even for calls, "hey, do you have a sec to help me troubleshoot the CDN setup?" is way better than "hello," followed by a call if you respond.

17m agoHN ↗

The thing with a messaging "hello" is it doesn't provide much of that information. You're only able to evaluate the time commitment and urgency by having the content of the request - a "Hello" ping on instant messenger is an attention stealer but it prevents the reader from being able to triage. It commits them to paying attention and waiting for at least part of a conversation that they may or may not have time for.

16m agoHN ↗

With async communication, the expectation is that they can generally take as long as they need. You put your message and maybe they'll get back to you then or in 5 minutes or in an hour, etc, but they have all the information to orient themselves on their own time.

If you just go "hello" and have this synchronous chat, then there isn't time to orient yourself, because the expectation is to respond as if you're in a face-to-face convo.

7m agoHN ↗

If it's a voice call, yes. But for text, folks can put the entire thing into a single message. Now you have all that data you need in one go, and you can decide if and when to answer in your own time.

6m agoHN ↗

What? No one says you can't say hello. It just shouldn't be the only thing you say